Grace and the Church
I was going to write a Greek blog in ποιημα, but I saw an interview on TV a couple days ago and I can’t stop thinking about it, and I need your input to help me understand.
It was an interview on the Mike Huckabee Report. He interviewed Gayle Haggard, the wife of pastor Ted Haggard and author of Why I Stayed: The Choices I Made in My Darkest Hour. Her husband was the founder of the 14,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs and was president of the National Association of Evangelicals. If you don’t already know, he admitted to an incident with a male prostitute.
Huckabee was talking to her mostly about forgiveness. He asked what was the most painful thing that happened. Her answer was fascinating. Certainly learning of the event was painful. Her children’s loss of dignity was hurtful. She said that she had received many kind and encouraging emails from homosexual men and Christians, and many cruel and hateful emails from homosexual men and Christians. Her conclusion: people are people.
But the event that hurt the most was their forced separation from the church and the people that they had loved for 22 years.
I don’t want to get into a debate of the incident or any of the particulars. But I do have one question for you. Isn’t the church, of all places, supposed to be the single greatest place of grace and healing and forgiveness? Yes, there are consequences to sin. Yes, there is loss of trust. Yes, betrayal is hard.
But where were they to turn? Where were they to go? Where were they to look for help in personal and corporate reconciliation?
Again, let me emphasize that I don’t know the details of what or how the church handled the situation, but I find myself scratching my head wondering why they were not allowed contact with the very body of Christ that should have been the greatest source of joy and comfort and grace and confrontation and love and discipline. Should not those of us who have truly received God’s grace in Christ Jesus be the first and the best at extending grace to others? Did not Jesus come to call sinners to repentance?
I am sure there are many good churches out there. But in the last two years I have heard hundreds of stories that make me nauseous, stories that show how hundreds of churches know nothing of grace.
My personal conclusion is that if a person is incapable of extending grace to others, that he or she has never truly experienced God’s personal grace in their life.
Why oh why are so many of our churches devoid of the one thing that should distinguish us from the rest of world: grace. I would like to hear from you why.
The question is not rhetorical.
In the aftermath of the Tiger Woods apology, The Haggards were interviewed on CNN. It was interesting to me that Ted H. never once mentioned his behavior as 'sin' or give a Biblical reference to the counseling he had in his 'redemption' process or for the reason for his affair.
I want to give 'grace' but it would seem that as pastor/preacher and more than that as a Christian, this would be his starting point.
The answer I had prepared was rather lengthy, but I've chosen to discard it for a nutshell response: self-centeredness. As we divest ourselves of self-centeredness and move more towards Christ-centeredness, we will find less of a need to be concerned about how "we" feel about what someone has done or said or how "we" were wronged. We will then began to focus more on doing the "Christ-like" thing and act more in grace than in retribution. Then we'll start letting the Lord worry about who has repented and who hasn't (for only He knows our hearts)and focus more on displaying the grace that the Lord has shown us. It is no more up to us to determine who has repented or who hasn't than it is for us to attempt to determine who truly has faith or who hasn't (for again, in both cases, only the Lord knows the final tally). But, it IS up to us to display love and grace as the Scripture commands us to do. They are acts that all Christians and churches should endeavor to display, like it or not, for, obedience to do so is a manifestation of the love we (believers) have for our Savior. Embrace with love and grace and let the Holy Spirit deal with the heart. Be examples unto the world as the label Christian (little Christ) denotes.
Why are so many of our churches devoid of the one thing that should distinguish us from the rest of world: grace?
In my thirty plus years as a Christian I struggled from poverty to sexual sins. Most of the Churches I tended were based more on legalism than grace. They operated in the struggle of Romans 7 and have a fear of grace mentioned in Romans 6. I accepted this as the norm and put up with spiritual abuse in these Churches because legalism offers a means to measure righteousness. If I meet the measure...then I am becoming righteous. It is sanctification based upon works by the flesh than upon walking in the Spirit by grace.
It was while I was incarcerated that I read Dr. Neil Anderson's book "Victory Over the Darkness" that I learned about my identification in Christ and that sanctification was a work that God did in my life by grace through His Spirit that dwells in me. I also read a commentary by Lawrence O. Richards on Galatians about how Jesus set us free so we can have liberty to live by grace. However...like a tiger set free from its cage...it desires to return to the cage because it is afraid of freedom. It has never know any other life than living in the restriction of its cage.
I decided after my release to live by grace and seek out other Christians who have the same desire. What I found was this fear of grace. The Churches I went to were concerned that if I practiced grace as I learned in the Bible, that I would reoffend and shame the Church. I had to submit to rules to protect them from lawsuits. I moved from one Church to another trying to find a Church that did more than just sing "Amazing Grace." One Pastor even isolated me from any involvement in ministry because I made him feel "uncomfortable."
Then I went to Jordan Valley Baptist Church under Pastor Harley Johnson. Not only was I welcomed with open arms, the members invited me to their homes to have meals. They practiced grace as they learned it in the Bible. The moment that touched me the most what when they accepted me as a member. The Pastor handed me a key to the Church. Never, in my thirty plus years as a Christian, was I ever handed keys to the Church and trusted to participate in its ministry. The Pastor knew about my past....and did not isolate me or tell the men of the Church to watch me. He only asked I do not particapate in childrens ministry, which I had already agreed to. They have no fear that grace will lead to unbridled sinning. They trust the Lord to lead by His Holy Spirit in the life of the members. This is a healthy, grace driven Church.
What a fantastic testimony. Sad, but fantastic. Thanks for sharing with us, and thanks to your true church who welcomed you as Jesus would. --Bill
Bill,
My thoughts:
We shouldn't be surprised by the lack of grace in many of our churches because it has been going on from the beginning. Paul dealt with a similar problem in 2 Cor. 2:6-8:
"For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him."
The reason is given in 1 Cor. 3:3, "are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way?". The simple answer for the existence of a lack of grace is carnality and the corresponding lack of spiritual maturity of many believers (including myself).
-bh
This story reminds me of another story I heard. About a little boy who comes from a very poor family. One day this boy decided to go to church to learn about who Jesus was. He heard his parents talking about Jesus who loved so many people that he gave up his own life to save people from the debt of sin. When he arrived at church he was greeted at the door by one of the head deacons. The deacon told the child that he was not allowed in, because his clothes were dirty. The deacon told him to go home and put on some other clothes. The child told the deacon the clothes he had on are the best he had, and that he wanted to learn about Jesus. The deacon told the child to leave. The child sat on the church steps with his face buried in his hands, and started crying. A voice came from behind him and asked why he was crying. While the boy was still sobbing, he said that he was crying because they would not let him in the church. Then Jesus said, I know they won’t let me in either. And sat down beside the child and wept also.
Thanks for all the helpful comments. It is helping me think about these issues. Church discipline, as an act of grace, is one of the most difficult things to do, and certainly the issue of future eligibility as an elder is a separate issue. I hesitated to say anything about this church in particular because, as several said including myself, I do not know the particulars. It is just that I see this happen over and over so I know it is a pattern and a problem. I keep coming back to 1 Cor 6:9 in my thinking as it combines the sexually immoral with the greedy and slanderers as the type of people who will not inherit the kingdom of God. It isn't that I want to lower the sin of sexual immorality but want to understand how all sin is abhorrent in Gods eyes, and to learn to treat my brothers and sisters in a way that is compatible with the servant who was forgiven the great debt -- my own sin.
Some has rightly said that Christians are the only ones to shoot their wounded. Just because a church has the word Grace in their name doesn't mean they are prone to extend grace.
Bill,
Your observation re: grace seems to refer to all congregants. I've not read her book nor did I see the interview, but I wonder if Mrs. Haggard's sense of pain relates to the treatment of a pastor/leader by church officialdom more than the people in the pew. Indeed, a pastor/leader of such reputation is almost certain to have a hard fall and it will likely be doubly hard for the spouse.
My experience is not broad but my pain is deep. It is my observation that any shortcoming or sin on the part of the pastor/leader (anything from stylistic differences to anger to immorality) seems to polarize and paralyze the lay leaders of the body. Absent good external leadership from a denomination (and in my experience this is a rarity) or mentoring professional (a coach or mediator?), they will likely act in clumsy ways that are terribly hurtful to the genuinely "sold out" though flawed leader. As an educator, you may be able to envision ways of equipping lay leaders more pro-actively to handle the inevitable and variegated failures of their leaders. My only response is to ask God for grace that I might give grace to those who gave me so little. Some days I am able to do so.
I am glad to learn of your blog. I will grow from it. Thank you.
You raise a point that is very dear to my heart, and that is leadership development, and this is what the last ten years of my life with biblicaltraining.org is about.
--Bill
One can only wonder why the church of all places lacks so much in giving and receiving grace. When you mention things like Yancey's book on "What's so Amazing about Grace" you are met with raised eye brows. It is no wonder than that Jesus choose to hang out with the 'sinners' of His day rather than the religous leaders. David among others would never have received or been offered 'grace' by many churches today. Heaven forbid that we should meet the 'sinner' where he is at and offer him God's grace in love and compassion. When you speak of loving the 'sinner' and not the sin you are met with a large degee of skepticism. Churches carry the word "Grace" in their name, but when you go in the door you find very little is being offered.
Very good. I need to ponder this for a bit. I currently am not part of a church and, quite frankly, I am not eager to be part of one. Sometimes I am, but for the most part I am not. What you have written hits me in numerous ways and so it is good.
Like yourself Bill, I don’t know of the particulars of the situation. However, I can speak of my own experience that I believe is related at the core to many problems we see in the churches today.
All of Jesus’ teachings had one central element: the condition of the heart. No matter what religious background or tradition we claim; no matter if we declare to be born again; we all share the same condition-a heart filled with the love of self.
It’s only by the grace of God through His Holy Spirit that we are able to overcome this condition at any given moment. Therein lies the problem.
We either don’t know that it’s the Spirit speaking to us, trying to move us in the way that God would have us move, or we are content to allow our own nature to take hold and do what we feel is right. Whether that’s going with the crowd or our own limited views of a situation. Either way we live outside the grace that God has been so kind to provide us with.
I’m not bold enough to call it outright hypocrisy, because I know that fear is a great motivator, and it comes in many forms. Fear of how we will look in the eyes of others; fear that it isn’t the godly thing to do (mixed with a lack of biblical knowledge); and fear of the dark sins we hide from others, which can cause us to judge and condemn those who are caught in the act of these same sins, or at least similar ones. Sexual sin is sexual sin.
And now I will turn boldly to hypocrisy. In my own life I haven’t walked with God for very long…6 years to be exact. From the beginning God made me a promise that I’ve stood on, and because of that I’ve tried to live as I believe God has directed me to, and sometimes it’s been against the current view at the time. This has caused much conflict and separation from people who are, even today, dear to my heart. One thing I’ve learned in my short life with God is that no one else can tell me what God’s will is for my life. I trust that He will make it known in the time of the situation.
Because of some of my decisions I’ve lost people that I thought were sincere in their love. But because, for instance, I stopped going to their church, or refused to support their ministry, our friendship has deteriorated. I always thought that God’s Kingdom was large enough to encompass more than one church or one ministry, or in fact to go outside of the confines of religion, and into the everyday world.
Jesus taught that the path was narrow and that not everyone that professed to be godly were in fact godly. Although I may not use the term nauseous, my heart is sad when I see the condition of God’s people today, because I know it doesn’t have to be this way…if we would only rely on God’s grace.
It is not a church.
(As far as I know, Haggard has displayed no repentance, feigned or otherwise, so it would not be inappropriate for the church to dis-fellowship them in accord with 1 Corinthians 5. Though I doubt New Life cares, or is even aware of, discipline for public sin.)
I think the root of the "grace-less" atmosphere in most "churches" is that they are not churches. Neither built nor sustained on the Gospel of Christ, they are more like venues for entertainment or therapy or ego-boosting, or some mixture of all of the above.
Haggard and New Life are a case in point. Haggard did not labor to build New Life (or his own life, apparently) upon the Gospel. His focus was on how to make people feel good and "succeed." Take, for example, his 2005 Dateline interview with Tom Brokaw, "In God They Trust" (taped before the scandal broke). Haggard makes several appalling (revealing?) statements like the following:
"Actually, it really is a rally atmosphere. But we teach the scriptures. We have a worship, which are the fundamentals of Christian worship for the last 2,000 years. But I like the lights. I like the fun. I like it fast moving."
"So the emphasis in our church isn’t how to get your sins removed because that’s pretty easy to do. Jesus did that on the cross. He emphasis in our church is how to fulfill the destiny that God’s called you to."
I was shocked with the president of the NAE (!) made statements like that on national television. I was not shocked when the scandal broke... it just made sense. And I will not be shocked when the next "evangelical leader" falls or their church acts unChristianly. It is really very simple: Haggard was never a pastor and New Life was never a church. He was an entertainer and self-help guru. New Life was/is a "rally" for everyone's "fun." Entertainers fall into sexual perversion all the time, and no one is surprised. Why are we surprised when these things happen to entertainers like Haggard and venues like New Life?
To be quite honest, I am more shocked by the Christians who seem to be shocked by the behavior and "churches" of these entertainer-therapists. I do not quite understand it. Of course he engaged in homosexual fornication, he's just an entertainer. Of course their people ostracized them, they were having a rally and all the bad press the Haggards generated was bumming the fast-paced fun.
We need to face it... the "evangelical church" in America is neither evangelical nor even "church." It is in just as much need of Reformation as was medieval Roman Catholicism. My question, which is also not rhetorical and very sincere, why are we surprised that so many of these venues, led by entertainer-therapists are indistinguishable from the world? Sorry for the long comment, I do hope it is helpful.
While I have never attended New Life church or know much about it's approach, I do know very committed Christians who do attend and are living out their faith in tangible ways. Nor do I justify Haggard's actions or his statements. My question would be are we to only extend 'grace' to those who respond as we deem appropriate. God extended his grace to me long before I repented of my sin, isn't it because of God's love and grace that I was able to repent of my sin and avail myself of His grace?
God does grant repentance (says so somewhere in the Pastorals), but we are always held responsible when we don't repent. I would think that in areas of church discipline, the one of the main determining factors in all this is whether the person has repented. That would certainly dictate different courses of action.
Bill, I think one reason that grace is so often missing within the church is that it is populated by "Older Brothers" (Luke 15:28-30). Tim Keller's book, The Prodigal God, is enlightening.
Thanks for the blog, Bill. I, too, have mused about this issue. I suspect that under these type of circumstances churches react to separate themselves from the 'sinner' whilst forgetting the possibility that anyone of those remaining are capable of the same.
Galatians 6.1 came to me: Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.
The above verse does not say: you who are spiritual abandon them to isolation in the hope that someone else will pick up the pieces.
From my understanding getting involved wuth recovering the fallen is part of my responsibility.